Thursday, May 31, 2007
I first titled this entry as "new beginnings." I deleted it. It took me the whole of two seconds to first recognize something wrong with that statement, and to then realize that it makes no sense. I use to find comfort in that phrase--you can start from scratch, start over, burn or trash the things that you no longer want to stir up the memories you want to erase. There is, however, a gigantic, looming problem; it isn't possible. You don't ever get to start over. When I first started realizing this (probably around the time twenty was looming), the thought depressed me. Now it seems empowering. After all, why would you want to throw whatever amount of precious life you have lived in the trash can? Your life doesn't decompose. If you do throw it away, it merely gets grimy. It's still there. At best, you can recycle it. Turn those worn out ways and norms you possess into new and imaginative ways to live. Feeling overwhelmed with the unmanagable problem of starting over is a waste of time. Instead of closing the book, turn the page and keep writing. And remember; it is never too late for a plot twist: here's to mine.